Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
