it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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