I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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