I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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