Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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