i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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