...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
