If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
