I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
