Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
