We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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