Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
