Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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