I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
im holly from the hills drunk
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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