this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
