Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
