At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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