I heard we made out
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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