So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
