Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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