So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
