I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
