I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
be right there i have to get my cape
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize