Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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