So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
