i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
