Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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