remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
