.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
