Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
