i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
