I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
