Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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