Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
