i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just had sex on a roof
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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