i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
