So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
