i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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