Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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