Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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