A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
MIDGETS
????
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
