you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
