I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
