Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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