did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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