I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize