Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
