It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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