Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
