He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
