She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
