I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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