do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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