her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
