Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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