I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
