hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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