Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
she smelled like a LAN party
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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